Supporting a child with sensory processing disorder

It’s common for autistic kids or kids with ADHD to be given the extra label of SPD, or Sensory Processing Disorder. Again, there’s the word “disorder”, letting parents and kids know that the way they perceive the world is “abnormal” and “oversensitive” (compared to a neurotypical mind)

Now, I’m not anti-labels, they are important to an extent and are a great starting point to understand that your child perceives the world differently from others, but abnormal or disordered? I think not. In fact, I’ll go so far as to suggest that it’s simply an alternative point of view, and maybe we could call it Sensory processing Powers instead! I’m sure once you know how to work with these sensitivities, you might just see what a gift you’ve been given.

I’m hopeful that this writing will give you an alternative perspective to sensory differences and help you to start working with the gift you have been given in your child!

In mainstream terms, I have quite severe SPD. I am super sensory with clothing and textures, sounds, lights, people’s voices, smells, especially smells, and you know what? I wouldn’t change it for the world!!

Let me explain a little to you about your child’s sensitivities from a neurodivergent perspective and how you can support them as the gift that they actually are.

Your neuro-fabulous kid sees, hears, and feels in ‘vivid’. They literally take in the world through their high-definition senses.

How freaking awesome is that?

Like a high-def tv, or changing the colour setting on your iPhone photos from original to vivid and drinking in all that extra colour and vibrancy, your cool kid gets to experience that all the time!

 

Naturally Gifted Senses To Autistic Kids

This gift means your kid will have a huge advantage in jobs that require detail as they grow up, such as jobs that require creativity and art, graphic design, media, coding, IT, and even brain surgery! There is literally no end to the choice of jobs that require the level of detail that only someone with a hyper-sensitive nervous system can really excel at.

My ‘vivid’ senses mean that I can literally sit and stare at a tree and be overcome with awe of the colours that pop, all the different bird sounds (yes I can hear them all) mingled with the sounds and feel of the wind, people, cars, dogs that I am also acutely aware of.

All this input sometimes stops me in my tracks, grounding me in the present moment and feeling what it is to be truly alive. In those moments I feel like I can literally feel the planet hurtling through space, it’s the best feeling. The next time your child stops and notices something seemingly small, stop with them and use the reminder to become present, centre and ground yourself.

Now, the average person can only take in about 128 pieces of information out of the 2 million pieces that are flying at them every second. Your amazing human is aware of even more pieces of information from their whole environment—background noises, smells, feelings, or images—that others may miss. This heightened awareness allows them to fully immerse themselves in the present moment and experience a deeper connection with their surroundings. It’s a beautiful reminder to slow down and appreciate the richness and complexity of our world.

 

How To Communicate

Sometimes all this stimulating information can be a lot for the brain and nervous system, and if it gets too much your child may have an outburst or may even shut down, or sometimes both!

And you know that they’ll save up the best of it for you right?

Your child’s outbursts or overwhelm are a form of communication. It’s a signal that their brain is full and can’t take in more stimulus, which gives you have the opportunity to support them.

If your child melts down, be mindful of your own thoughts. If you notice they spiral towards the negative and you tell yourself things like: “What’s wrong with them”, “Why can’t they cope like the others?”, remind yourself that their overwhelm simply a communication tool. They are communicating that a shift is needed. How can you support them through that shift?

If it’s safe to do so, remove them from that environment, preferably take them outside where the stimulation of nature has a positive calming effect on their nervous system.

Or if you are with others, it’s ok to ask to turn the lights down for a bit, or turn the music down. It’s ok to let the neurotypical community know that different people have different needs, neither is right or wrong, they are just different. Just like different flowers need different soil and light to thrive, they are all beautiful, they just thrive in different environments.

If the environment can’t be changed, make sure you have your support kit with you, which may include things like noise cancelling headphones, earplugs, headphones and soothing music, an eyemask, a soothing essential oil roll on, a soft toy, texture or fidget that helps your child.

Although changing the external factors can help, it is important to empower them with an internal resource kit as well.

Giving them the internal tools they need to navigate through different environments with confidence and resilience, without always having to rely on external factors that could be out of their control, means they will always be able to support themselves no matter what’s happening around them.

As well as an external support kit, teach your child about their internal support kit.

This can include strategies such as heart breathing exercises, tapping, positive self-talk, and mindfulness techniques. By helping your child develop their internal support kit, they will be better equipped to handle challenging environments and situations on their own.

 

Educating Your Autistic Child with an Internal Resource kit.

Both heart breathing and tapping are easy to learn, work for any age and have a powerful effect within minutes. These are the ”go to” techniques for many of my youth clients.

By educating your child that they have everything they need to support themselves right there inside them, they can avoid feeling helpless and at mercy of overwhelm if they lose their favourite fidget, or they are stuck in an environment that they can’t change.

Teaching them that they can control their inner state is quite possibly the most powerful, life changing gift you can ever give them.

Heart breathing (https://youtu.be/dmzDHPZzYyQ) has been scientifically proven to calm the brain and nervous system within minutes, and tapping (https://youtu.be/iMz9igrhrE8) has been scientifically proven to reduce cortisol (stress hormone) levels.

To help you in educating your child about their internal support kit, I have created the following resources for you.

You can watch the videos with your child and follow along, and then model it yourself throughout your day. Don’t expect your child to do something that you’re not prepared to do yourself, so practising it and modelling it can help them to see that it’s normal to help yourself, and they’ll have fun using their new tools with you.

And can you see the new gift that you’ve been given?

By practicing and modeling the desired behavior, you are not only teaching your child but also reinforcing it within yourself. This can lead to a more harmonious and balanced household, benefiting both you and your child in the long run. Additionally, embracing your child’s sensitive nature can provide you with a deeper understanding of empathy and emotional intelligence, enhancing your own personal growth. What a gift!

To teach your child heart breathing watch here:

To teach your child tapping watch here:

 

Conclusion

One last word before I go, this hypersensitivity brings so much joy and presence, and can lead to many opportunities as your child grows up. It can also be a lot sometimes, so just be sure to give your child enough downtime in between activities, especially social ones.

Sometimes they may even need a few of days to decompress so please bear this in mind before forcing them into another social situation, and different environments make take longer to decompress from than others.

When my 12 year old finishes a week of school it takes her most of the weekend to recharge, and at the end of a term she takes a full week to sleep and be alone and in nature to reset her nervous system.

Personally, I view her need to recharge for so long as an opportunity for me to look at my own schedule and see where I need to slow down as well? Can you use your child’s need to decompress as a reminder to be gentle to yourself as well?

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